2014 I am grateful for the opportunities, the love and the lessons from the mistakes. I hope 2015 is even better. Thank you for everyone that helped me out- you know who you are xxxx
January
Ah- the aftermath of pantomime. My time with the Tuesday Musical Theatre Company ended- very sad, no more Dick Jokes (we put on Dick Whittington) and I thought everyone in Tuesday company would forget about me. Who would come to see obscure musical theatre shows with me now? How would I cope without singing every week? Was a dark showtuneless world approaching? Thank heavens the next show was "Cabaret" which might be one of the most depressing musicals ever- and certainly not my favourite. I just about managed to leave. I was still on the social Facebook group- Id be ok.
Time to hibernate and knuckle down to studying for my final medical exam... hopefully ever!
This exam cost me £1500- so needless to say I was desperate to pass it first time!
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| Look- I bought every book on how to pass the exam... and then got too ill to read them! |
In January I had the flu to beat all flus. 3 ghastly weeks of coughing up green gunk and being unable to sleep due to coughing, vomiting and waking from the mucus irritating my throat. Had a week off work (totally unlike me) and then developed lower back pain too from lying down all the time. I was very miserable! I anticipated entering the upcoming exam looking like Kwasimodo bent over with my back pain and coughing and spluttering everywhere. Maybe that would help me pass?
I even stooped to finally taking advantage of being a GP- I went and prescribed myself some antibiotics the week before the exam- I was desperate... unfortunately it was clearly a virus as they did nothing. Take note patients.
I had asked for the latest possible exam- knowing I hadn't done much revision- but got allocated week one of the sitting. Boo.. With being ill things weren't looking great.
I recall many sessions with my lovely friends and driving to people's houses to eat pizza and practice our acting ahem.. GP skills -by performing role plays.
I think Kate came round 1 night after work to revise and I drank 1 glass of wine and collapsed on the sofa. Studying was definitely out of the equation- I was just lying on the sofa half asleep and laughing at silly things. Meltdown. It seems wine had to be kept away when revising.
I had a week off for private studying and went on an exam course at the centre. So yeah- January was dull. Illness and studying.
Oh but I did cave in and signed up for a new singing course- Acting Through Song.. Best.. Thing.. Ever. I convinced myself I needed something to get me through work and study. This was allowed right? Yes- I have little self control.
Auditioned for a concert at City Academy- worst audition ever! The day before I came down with the flu, I hadn't prepared due to revision/ work and was a bag of nerves and just spoke total rubbish. But somehow they accepted me into the show!
February
Exam time. I thought I'd failed.. as per usual. But hey- no more exams for a few months. Freedom. Also 2 months more than everyone with later exam dates. My flu vanished and I was ok again.
I received an email about a beginners running course I'd signed up for in a moment of madness months earlier- noticing it started the week after my exams ended.
My usual habit would have been to go back into a depressed shell and focus on how shit it was going to feel having failed my exam- but I decided that was a pointless waste of energy and off I went on Saturday morning at 9 am in Trent Park with my thermals and woolly hat to learn how to run! I felt rather ridiculous and scared but met a lovely group of people who had the same love/ hate relationship with running that I did, and soon I was waling/ slow running 3 times a week and getting fitter in the beautiful local park. Why had I not done this sooner? Running and chatting in the great outdoors. Perfection.
I continued with singing and had a few lessons. The "Acting through Song "course was one of the scariest but most amazing courses I'd ever done. Lovely but terrifying to get to sing solo and be told exactly what was wrong and find ways to connect with a song. Also fab to listen to great people singing every week and learn about acting and story telling through song. The teacher was incredible. It felt like more than just singing and changed how I thought about songs in general. A good replacement for leaving MT company! I realised although I love to perform and sing- lots of fears and bad habits had set in and I needed to do more and face these fears if I wanted to sing in front of people.
March
Had to quit running for 3 weeks due to tendinitis. Couldn't even walk. It was embarrassing. I'd limp into the consultation room and the patients would ask me if I was ok.
Performed in Sadlers Wells Lillian Bayliss theatre with one of my own songs with a sort of band backing. Was very cool. Not my greatest performance, but lovely to get the change to do it and I enjoyed it very much. I limped onto the stage and off again!
City Academy Cabaret- performed an Adele song with a ukulele and loop pedal! It all went a bit pear shaped.. turns out you need to wear trousers to do this thing as you need legs akimbo to see the pedals. Ah, you live and you learn.
April
Went to see Sedos (amateur) Into The Woods production. Amazing. They were all ex professionals.. and it showed.. Perfection or as close as you need.
My birthday- uneventful. Oh we went to Show Offs- I sang some songs and felt utterly ridiculous.
Had a hair cut to cheer myself up.
Started my fitness regime. Home exercise dvd.. yes I'm THAT cool. Jillian Michaels 30 days shred. Started a diet. Those size 12 jeans that I'd never been able to get into- they were going to do up. 5:2 diet.. the year of no excuses.
The results came out- I'd passed my exams! Only the blessing from my lovely trainer and a load of online assessments and reflective writing needed now to finish 11 years of study and qualify finally as a GP.
Went back to running to complete the course after my foot had healed. Went and did the 5k race at the end.. slow as anything but still quicker than I'd ever run before! An achievement. So glad to complete it even with the lack of training due to being injured.
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| Yes... this is how I looked running my first 5k race.. after 3 weeks of not running.. not so pretty but the face of a girl working hard! : |
A few bad dates- but at least I'm trying! Where are all the nice Jewish men?! Do they even exist?
Might have braved a few Jewish events. Feel like its some sort of meat market out there.
Here's me with a potential new boyfriend. Its ok.. I'm not looking my best here either...
Trip to see Urinetown, very cool but very dark new musical.
May
A failed audition for the City Academy Cabaret this time. Hmm.. Back to the drawing board. Guess its time for someone else to make a fool of themselves on stage.
My running club pals convinced me I should continue running and join the "Intermediate" Running club to get up to a 10k. This was never my plan but I figured it might be fun and signed up. More running- I was starting to get hooked on this form of torture! Tuesday nights and Saturday mornings and some Thursdays when I could go. Lovely runs through the local Park and roads. Blissful.
Played a few songs with Sam for his 30th Birthday. Fun times. Our epic 90s medley. Skunk Anansie, Backstreet boys, and some weird band I'd never heard of that are big in Ireland. Fun to be performing music again.
Second fitness regime, did Jillians Ripped in 30 dvd!
June
A Second Acting Through Song Course. Time to try to sing... EVERYTHING.. Great lessons.
My 10k race- "The Triffic Trail" on a swelteringly hot day in June. A hilly and challenging course. It hurt... but ran with my friend Nicky and somehow- with some walking sections, we managed to finish this :D Collected t shirt and key ring, mission accomplished. Couldn't walk for a week but felt great to have refused to give up and run the damn thing.
Family times with my mum!
July
Went to see Tuesday's Cabaret Performance. Was ace! Really enjoyed it. Also glad I wasn't in it- I would have been one of the scantily clad ensemble members at the back. Not really my forte!
Continued Running.
Theatre trip to see Pajama Game with Jenny- quite fun again but a bit twee.
Jillian Michaels Killer Buns and Thighs dvd... less fun than it sounds.. 30 days of torture.
Work was tough, lots of long hours and teaching ended so had to work an extra half day a week. I will survive :D
August
Sad/ Happy- last week at my job with the lovely doctors and team at Oakleigh Road. Very sad to be leaving, had really enjoyed this job and thought I'd never get anywhere as nice to work!
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| bye bye Gp room. |
I qualified! YES me! I was a fully qualified GP.. With no job.. Who hasn't even sorted out her CV or got herself on the performers list, or sorted out indemnity insurance, or anything really! There was work but I couldn't say yes as I'd not got the admin sorted out.... but first...
Avenue Q Summer School.. Yes the first week after finishing my job I jumped into another challenge.
Putting on an abridged version of this show in 5 days! Nobody was Chinese who had signed up so I went and auditioned for "Christmas Eve." Yes- Me, with red hair and White skin played the Oriental Lady. Somehow I got the part. After getting over feeling foolish, I thoroughly enjoyed this- shouting on stage, fake Chinese accent, a wig.. fun times. When else do you get to do this in real life?
The best moments were in the dress rehearsal. Katie did my makeup to look a bit like a traditional Chinese Woman. I had a kimono, a black wig and white face paint. It was totally racist but that's ok in the context of the show. I came on stage and Sam literally could not stop laughing at how ridiculous I looked. I don't think I've heard such laughter in ages. Crying. Then I started laughing. I couldn't get a line out.
Had fun times with the cast. We went to see a Sondheim review show in St Jame's theatre. Weirdly amazing acting through song ex teacher was playing piano. The couple at the next table were patrons of the arts and bought us all champagne. Top night! I think we were the youngest people in the audience.
I recall leaving Finsbury Park Town Hall where we had rehearsed and then going on the most awful date ever. And I had to pay for my own pizza and had missed my aftershow party- for what?!?
Went back to do karaoke after this. Where are all the nice men? Silly question when you enjoy musical theatre and work as a GP.. Wish I could enjoy- I don't know, computer programming and Rugby maybe.
Rejoined MT CLUB, didn't feel the same. Did audition and then recall. Didn't get cast again. Wondered what I was going to get out of this show as lots of the dances and songs were things I'd done before. Also Tuesdays were for running. Left Mt club. :(
Ran the 5k handicap- won this as the biggest improver! Trophy and a £50 voucher to spend on running gear, go me!
September
Did some locum GP work. This terrified me, would I be ok with no lovely trainer in the next room to run things by if I got stuck. Using alien computer systems. Working in a new area with different referral pathways. Turns out medicine is similar where ever you go and I was going to be ok.
Work was quiet- I figured I'd apply for a few jobs.
Got a surprise interview for a local job. Went for practice. I had the flu (AGAIN) for 2 days. I'd not prepared AGAIN. There were 5 people on the panel. I had to wing it.
They offered me the job. WTF!! Seemed perfect, apart from the tiny car park and my inability to reverse park. I was going to learn.
Went to see Sedos' production- I love you, you're perfect, now change. It was very well done, but I felt the score was a bit blah.
Look what arrived.., proof
October
Halloween, parties, reconnecting with old friends. Started new job- survived starting new job!
Continued with some regular locum work. Kept up the running. Life moving along.
Saw Forbidden Broadway with Jen- awesomeness.. 3rd row seats, we laughed so much. What talent.
November
The best and worst month. Cheesetastic song I'd written got shortlisted for a contest. Then song got dropped from the contest due to a problem when I asked to sing my own song and was dropped. Some people are mean. Because I listened to my mother's advice.. note to self.. just cos someone screams at you and calls you a coward.. doesn't mean they are right. Anyway after a week of crying I'd stopped feeling like an idiot and caring.
Did an acting through song class where everything went wrong and I felt like the biggest idiot in the world.
Played an open mic at Moishe House- it felt good and I was entertaining and enjoying music and performing again. Maybe I could stick with this hobby?
Took up netball for a month in the evenings, bloody amazing. I got to be a Goal Attack and Goal Shooter again thus fulfilling my childhood dreams.
Saw Miss Saigon in the theatre- amazing, not a dry eye in the house afterwards.
Saw Sedos Victor Victoria- pretty great again. Hmm, guess we've seen lots of their shows this year!
December
Played a little gig in Angel- a few friends came, it was fun :D Wrote a few songs.
Played Xmas songs at Trent Park Running Club Christmas Party. Went down really well considering! People are nice!
Did Crisis For Christmas gig. Makes me feel grateful for what I have.
Surviving at work. Picked up some good diagnoses. Helped some people out. A little locum work to supplement my income.
Singing again.
So there it is!
Finished the year fitter, slimmer, richer, more qualified than last year. Gainfully employed. A better driver- can now reverse park.. sort of! A better doctor. Hopefully a better person.
Still single.. :( But at least I get to enjoy life and do what I want to do for now. Still want to write some music I'm proud of. Haven't written a musical. Not quite enjoying performing the way I intend to. Have some travelling to do- Canada, Nashville, NY. Still not quite as fit or slim as I'd like.. but ok with things.
I guess there's lots left to be done. May 2015 be lovely :D With more peace, more love and more music..
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